ITL MovieDB

Jupiter Ascending

"Expand your universe." A young woman discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactic nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry.

I don't remember the last time I went to a movie, and almost walked out in the first 5 minutes to ask for a refund. That is how quickly I sensed I was in a disaster.I usually enjoy sci-fi movies and don't nitpick them to death. I'm used to being let down by the likes of Green Lantern and John Carter, and still finding them adequately entertaining.However, this was some convoluted mess. It seemed slapped together. The soundtrack seemed like some stock hack job. Characters were not developed at all. Stuff randomly jumped around. The "universe" seemed inconsistent, incoherent, and generally muddled. This just outright hurt to sit through. I gave it a chance, but it didn't get better. I tried wondering if I'd have liked it if it was my first movie, and I was maybe 12. No, I don't think so.Anyway, this is now at the top of my Razzie list for at least the last couple decades. I've seen a *lot* of movies. Though I'd normally rather watch Mila Kunis for two hours over John Travolta in weird space dreadlocks... I think I'd rather watch Battlefield Earth again over this... thing. Wow. This was really really really bad. It's not even worthy of Showgirls-like cult status. This one should have people mocking it for at least a generation. Especially the ears.
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